fa la la la la

December 23, 2007

I love love LOVE our dog. How could I not? He’s a mini Australian shepherd, and our affection has turned him into a giant stuffed animal who gazes at us intelligently, smiles oftenjavascript:void(0) and sleeps in funny positions with his paws and head facing opposite directions. Occasionally with his head on its very own pillow.

Seriously … how could I not love this dog.
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It’s just that I sometimes feel awkard because he is deaf. He is far more brilliant than the average dog, but he also has special needs. So this means that when I am with him at the park, I can’t shout at him, or whistle, or call. I have to wave my arms in the hopes that I will catch his eye and he will choose to obey my sign language telling him to come to me. Yesterday I wanted to tell the kid at the park, yes I really WOULD rather my dog did not dance in circles right in the middle of the area that you are playing with your whirly flying toys, but I can’t tell him that because he’s deaf.

It wasn’t bad at all. This dog is so good. And he really does dance in circles, aided by the tennis ball, which doesn’t need to be thrown to provide many minutes of exciting entertainment. For a while I thought what he really needed is some kind of robotic ball that moves on its own, but he doesn’t, because a regular ball will do just fine. He kicks it and then pounces in glee.

AW.

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so close!

December 12, 2007

It’s 8am and in approximately 3 hours, maximum, I’ll be done with the semester and oh so very fucking happy. The only reason I’m up now is because I was going to study, but I can’t … I just cannot. And it’s not because I have already studied, no. It’s because I just can’t study. I think this is what they call BURNOUT.

Ok, on another topic. I like to read some blogs, blogs much better written than this one, and about much more interesting things like, say, pregnancy. So there’s one blog I read that is written by a woman who is pregnant with twins and has been on bedrest for a very long time, having contractions etc, monitoring herself constantly, and YAY! She’s maybe 35 weeks now. So things are looking good. But I read one comment she got from someone, I have no idea who, that said, well, it’s all good because you made it to 34 weeks without having the babies, that means that they won’t stay in the NICU hardly at all, everything’s gravy, congrats! And obviously I have no problem with her being congratulated, she deserves it. But I wanted to post and show this person a picture someone showed us in one of my classes … I don’t remember which class, or who the person was, that information has been deleted from my brain … of the brain of a 34-weeker and the brain of a 38-weeker baby. Oh, I think it was actually someone at the OB conference we went to a couple of weeks ago.

Anyway, the point is this: 34 weeks – large, but with very few wrinkles. 38 weeks – looks like a scan of an adult brain, all wrinkly and generally MUCH more developed.

That is not to say that babies born at 34 weeks do not end up perfectly healthy and fine. BUT. The longer they stay in, the better!!! Those last few weeks make a huge difference.

So that is what I wanted to tell that person, minus the exclamation points and capital letters. It doesn’t matter really, though, because the point is this blogger’s twins are most likely going to be healthy … prematurity is so dangerous, and I’m very happy for her, and excited to read about them when they arrive.

Emily, I’ve been meaning to write to you and I will. I hope that you haven’t totally given up on midwifery. I just wanted to tell you that when we started here, we met in our specialty groups with the directors of each program, and the midwife in charge told us: just get through this year. Next year you will be so much happier, so much more excited, you will be learning things you actually want to learn, but first you have to get through this basic nursing stuff, and it’s hard. That’s what we’re all struggling with right now, the fact that before we can even learn about babies we have to learn how to do 12-hr shifts on the floor taking care of dying people. Of course, I think we also struggle with whether or not this thing is right for us, if we can do it without going crazy, all that stuff. Anyway, more later … I have to get dressed and take a test.

a tiny pity par-tay of one

December 4, 2007

It’s December 4, which means in 10 days I will be on my way to my parents’ house where I will spend several weeks sleeping, eating and lying on the couch. And playing with the dog. I am very excited about this. Today was our last day of classes … on Thursday I have a day of clinicals, and then next week I have 3 tests, and then I’m out.

So Thanksgiving was excellent, we had a week off and I did nothing except sleep, eat and lie on the couch. A Missouri couch. I think it was the week before that where we started giving injections at the hospital, and I was so nervous even the tiny subcutaneous needle seemed like something I just couldn’t handle, but I did. Without causing anyone too much trauma, even. Of course they both had huge abdominal incisions so they were probably not too concerned about a 23 gauge, 1-inch needle, thank GOD. Intramuscular injections will be another story altogether, but I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Next semester, just the thought of it, makes me want to sleep for eight days straight. I just don’t know if I have the energy to do this again. Or to be a nurse. Or whatever. It’s possible I should just be … a librarian.

Ugh, I don’t even have the energy to make a valid attempt to think of anything interesting to say. It’s been a really rough week. Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah, but I have neither the time nor the energy to cook, and the grocery store didn’t have any of the things I needed … YAY for living in the South. Seriously, NO Hanukkah stuff at all? I guess I should have expected it? But it was okay, I bought some tiny lame birthday candles that should get me through the first night. Remembering last year, though, depresses me, because that was really a pretty great time.

Ok, now I’m sad. I need to snap out of this.