January 21, 2008

Today was a really fucking hard day.  I don’t know why.  I didn’t have to do anything except sit through many hours of lecture (several of which were incredibly boring and pointless, but it’s not like it was a high-pressure or anxiety-causing situation).  Sometime during the early morning hours (we were learning about schizophrenia at the time) I was just hit by this wave of depression, loneliness and powerful feelings of being completely overwhelmed.  Ugh, it was awful.  I just wanted to get up and run out of the room and not come back.  I don’t want to be doing this right now.  I KNEW this semester would kick my ass as soon as it started, and I was right.  I’m tired.  There are so many little things piling up and stupid hoops we have to jump through and I just DON’T WANT TO.  I want a vacation.  I want to be with my friends, my friends who live thousands of miles away from me, the ones who make me feel better when I’m sad and keep me company no matter what.  I do not want to be here trying to study and feeling guilty when I don’t and trying to get to the gym and feeling shitty when I don’t and feeling shitty at 6:30 in the morning when I have to get up and being tired all the time. I believe I’ll be utilizing a negative & unhealthy coping strategy tonight and drinking most of a bottle of wine.  I’ll let y’all know how that goes.(I won’t be drinking alone.  There are many, many people in my class who are equally frustrated, tired & overwhelmed, and one of them will be bringing her boyfriend over here in a few hours to partake in the unhealthy coping activities I have described). 


One Response to “1/21/2008”

  1. the niz said

    😦 well, it’s good you have fellow stressed out people around. I miss you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: